The Diary of Russell B: 13th December 2009

Dear Diary

May I start by saying how lovely you are looking today, and by apologising for neglecting you for so long?

It’s been cold enough to freeze your knackers off today, but has been an excellent day all round. It started off when I went off to meet my old mate Fred. He’s called Fred cos of his resemblance to good old Freddie Mercury.

me and freddie

He’s found that the Freddie Mercury lookalike market was drying up a bit, so he’s been looking to diversify. He showed me his John Travolta dance moves for his next audition, but in the meantime he told me about the new job he had on today, doing a modelling job as the nutcracker prince, sitting on a statue. And he invited me to come along as there’d be many lovely ladies. So, I put on my new “I shagged your gran” belt and headed out.

At the rehearsals I hooked up with a couple of his co-stars

me and the ladies

And I met a couple of sexy Spanish ladies

and an innocent young blonde. She wasn’t innocent for long, I can tell you.

We went out on the job, and I ended the night touching a ballerina’s knickers.

An excellent day all round, I think.

Welcome to my nightmares – (insert sinister laugh here)

It was Halloween and time to yarnstorm. And, I thought, what better use for a Halloween yarnstorm than to exorcise a few demons and nightmares in the company of good friends and through the medium of warm woolliness.

The nightmares for me started with Sapphire and Steel, spooky tales which scared the crap out of me when my Dad let me watch it while Mum was on a night shift. One of the stories featured resentful ghosts of another time haunting a deserted station platform, which brought to mind the ghostly actress said to haunt Aldwych station from the theatre that was previously on its site. I decided to bring her to life at the station, a nameless actress, gradually fading into grey and features disappearing into a blur.

Fade to Grey

Other nightmares followed over the years

Top to bottom: The black rabbit of Inle, Cthulhu and a Slake Moth

The Black Rabbit of Inle has haunted many of my generation. It just takes the first few bars of Bright Eyes and a black shadow sweeping before the eyes to reduce grown men to tears.

Next followed Cthulhu. Marked with the label “this is not a toy, this is pure evil”, the woolliness did nothing at all to lessen his evil hold.

Finally we have the Slake Moth. For those who do not know slake moths, they are a creation of China Mieville’s in Perdido Street Station. They suck out your dreams and leave you hollow. I think that may be the scariest thing of all.

Butterflies: Not as demure as they seem

Butterflies. They fly around, light as air. They have elegant delicate wings. They are prettier than their dowdy cousins, the moths. People are taken in and think that they are lovely and that they are good. But people are being fooled. Butterflies are secretly evil, sweary little bastards. Look at the language used by this pair I found trapped in our Knit The City spider web. Potty mouths, the pair of them.

Turning the air blue

The walk home

I yarnbombed Mildmay library almost two weeks ago. I’m secretly quite pleased that it’s still there and that I can see it from the bus window on the way to work.

Yarnstorming for beginners

I have taken my first steps in yarnstorming.

Flower 1 is on Exhibition Road, a bit of a rush job and a bit untidy around the edges.

Flower 2 is at Embankment Gardens.

Flower 3 hangs swaying in the breeze on a tree in Clissold Park.

Flower 4, a little blurry, is at Battersea Park, and my first use of the Dymo label.

Flower 5 is in a pub, because I couldn’t resist.