May I start by saying how lovely you are looking today, and by apologising for neglecting you for so long?
It’s been cold enough to freeze your knackers off today, but has been an excellent day all round. It started off when I went off to meet my old mate Fred. He’s called Fred cos of his resemblance to good old Freddie Mercury.
He’s found that the Freddie Mercury lookalike market was drying up a bit, so he’s been looking to diversify. He showed me his John Travolta dance moves for his next audition, but in the meantime he told me about the new job he had on today, doing a modelling job as the nutcracker prince, sitting on a statue. And he invited me to come along as there’d be many lovely ladies. So, I put on my new “I shagged your gran” belt and headed out.
At the rehearsals I hooked up with a couple of his co-stars
And I met a couple of sexy Spanish ladies
and an innocent young blonde. She wasn’t innocent for long, I can tell you.
We went out on the job, and I ended the night touching a ballerina’s knickers.
An excellent day all round, I think.